Doctors and laypeople usually think of impostor syndrome as the exclusive disease of academic superstars and prominent female business executives. However, nothing could be farther from the truth. This condition also affects men and women in other vocations, including full-time mothers. These are the women who introduce themselves by saying “I’m just a stay-at-home mom” and deep inside feel that their performance as mothers is not up to task. These women live in constant fear that their inadequacy will be exposed and one day someone will knock on their door and take their children away.
Stay-at-home mothers who suffer from Impostor Syndrome usually describe their condition as feeling “not grown up enough” to be entrusted with taking care of children. These women feel as if they are not doing a good enough job even though their kids are loving and polite, earn stellar grades and participate in every possible school club and sports team. Their mothers seem to be unable to appreciate these achievements and instead spend their days obsessing about the future and thinking about what could possibly go wrong.
As with most psychological conditions, imposter syndrome has its roots in early childhood. A child who is bombarded with negative massages internalizes them to the point where they become part of his/her subconscious. A typical example is a little girl who is told that it is wrong for her to be too aggressive and to actively promote herself like boys do. If this girl grows up to become a successful executive, chances are that she will struggle with issues of self-confidence. Unconsciously, this woman will feel that it is wrong for her to be so successful, and as a result she will see herself as a fake–an imposter who will be revealed and humiliated one day.
Sandra Gotlaufa
(photo credit: jonnikay)
Tue, Apr 7, 2009
Retraining